My father's camera (a gift)


My father's camera (a gift), originally uploaded by *jj*.
This is the camera that started my collection obsession.

My father gave me his Konica Autoreflex T3 SLR camera on my wedding day.

It seemed an off-hand gesture. We were estranged most of my life.

I only invited him to the ceremony on the insistence of my mother.

Once the vows and registration took place, there was a kiss as well, of course, my father simply handed me the camera.

He always enjoyed photography. I remember sneaking looks at female nudes in his photography encyclopedia. It had red-binding and gold letters and the best black and white female torso I've ever seen.

My father owned Nikon and Canon. He had in the past given my sister a Nikon. I received the Konica with some disappointment.

As far as I knew, it was a lesser camera. I'm ashamed to say I was embarrassed for him.

After my father died, my twin boys were born. I started taking pictures. I purchased an HP digital camera the night they were born.

It was some time in their third month, perhaps they had started crawling or something momentous like that, I grabbed for the HP to document the event. The camera failed. No power.

It was then, three years after his death, seven years after my wedding day, I loaded my father's Konica and began taking photographs with it.

I noticed it took images, round or dimensional, in a way I had never noticed or thought possible before. I assumed two-dimensional images were two dimensional. But there it was in my father's camera and lens. I liked how it made the background soft and out of focus while the main subject was so sharp. I didn't know anything about depth of field or bokeh either but I figured it out.

I'm not sure why my father gave me this camera. Did he forsee me using it to document his future grandchildren? Was it meant to be a bridge of connection to rebuild our relationship?

My father didn't have much money. Was it one of the few things he felt had any value? Did my last-minute wedding invitation catch him empty-handed and the camera was a convenient present?

Does it matter? Every time I use it, I think of him.

Comments

rkraneis said…
Just wanted you to know that people you have never met actually have found and read parts of your blog.

Thanks for the articles.

Richard
Chicago, IL
JJ Lee said…
Richard, thanks for letting me know. It's gratifying and I enjoy the people I've met online with the same interests. Very kind of you.
Nicolas said…
Every time there is a story behind things, then it's not just about things anymore. Thank you for sharing the T3 story of yours.
JJ Lee said…
Thanks for your kind comments. He was such a troubled man but he still influences me every day.

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